The Exercise:
Once a day think of someone close to you (friend, family, co-worker, etc.) and give them a true compliment. The closer the person is to you the better – telling a stranger you like their scarf isn’t quite the same. The more specific the compliment the better – I appreciate the way you take an effort, etc.
There might be a resistance to this task as people often think the compliment won’t be genuine – it becomes easier
Doing this task helps highlight and change our critical and judgemental state of mind.
People notice that when giving compliments to others, they tend to ‘block’ it. It creates a vulnerability in us.
When a compliment is genuine then people tend to thrive.
Compliments that promote a sense of connection are very good. An example might be “I was touched by you bringing biscuits in for the group, it was really thoughtful. Thank you”.
Compliments for temporary conditions make us feel uneasy – things such beauty, athletic ability or style are often seen as temporary because they can change over time and carry a sense of unearned praise. The best compliment is founded on how a person made you feel.
Quote: “They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel” (Carl W Buechner)
Kind words are a gift.
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