When you think about being kind, what pops first into your head?
Maybe you see kindness as showing care and consideration towards your fellow human being?
Or maybe you see kindness as being charitable or doing a good deed?
These are all very common associations. The tendency is to associate kindness as an act towards others, but less so do we see it as something we would give to ourselves.
Kindness is not just something you do to help others – it’s something you do to help yourself.
Self – kindness includes:
Prioritising you. Placing your own needs first and foremost.
Giving yourself praise. This could be in a form of a compliment or giving yourself credit.
Forgiving yourself. Being able to acknowledge the mistake, take accountability for it, and allow yourself to move forward with new lessons learnt.
Practicing positive self-talk. Showing that empathy and understanding for who you are and what you’ve been through.
Engaging in self-care. Putting in place routines or regimes that look after your wellbeing and reduce stress.
So, here’s a question. When was the last time you’ve shown yourself kindness?
If you’re struggling to recall it may be a sign that you need to show yourself more compassion.
Rooting for you to may feel like a challenging thing to do, especially if you’re prone to talking about yourself in a negative way.
So how do we throw a spanner into the well-oiled self-criticism cycle we are so accustomed to?
An exercise that has proven beneficial to many is the introduction of compassionate, non – judgemental phrases.
Such phrases may include…
My mistakes mean I am growing and learning
I am proud of myself for trying
I deserve to treat myself with the same kindness I give to others
I am allowed to rest in times of stress
I am worthy of forgiveness and understanding
May I be kind to myself in this moment
I am enough, just as I am
Using these affirmations can give your mind a well-deserved break from your critical inner dialogue. Think of it as being your own cheerleader - or your own best friend - providing reassurance and assistance in moments of upset or need.
Showing self – compassion has a range of benefits for our mental health and wellbeing. Letting your inner voice be that nurturing friend to you – rather than one that is negative and unkind - can help us cope with stress and motivate us to do more.
After all, showing self – compassion is recognising your human.
We are imperfect…
…and that is perfectly OK!